New

First of all, I just want to say what a joy it is to be able to write another blog post… it has been some time since I wrote an actual post, especially one that covers the previous semester. This first semester of my senior year in college has been a great yet confusing semester (I bet this year has been confusing for everyone though). In 2021, I had the opportunity to be a groomsman in one of closest friend’s wedding, I received my diploma of interior design, I completed my first semester as Scott Hall president, and I went through a whole lot of emotional development.

Before I can talk about the fall semester, I have to give you some background from the summer. In May, I was a groomsman in my friends’, Jack and Melissa, wedding. First, this was a great time because it was the closest to a vacation that I got in over two years. Second, I consider this a great time because there was an incident that happened which was the initiation to a journey of relationship and emotional development. I wish I could tell you more about this, but since I plan on releasing a book on which this incident is the premise of the book, I will refrain from publishing any details of this incident until then. So, stay tuned… I don’t know when, but when the book is released, you are definitely going to want to read it. While I can’t talk about the incident, continue reading to find out how this incident sparked a journey of emotional development.

In July, I started taking a course in interior design through the Interior Design Institute. Through a lot of hard work, dedication, and time, I was able to complete the course in four months. And on October 15, 2021, I received my diploma in interior design. I then opened my own interior design studio, Morningstar Interiors on November 12th. While I was glad to be able to start my own business, I was sad that I had finished the course because it was a fun and refreshing course to take. I guess that’s why I started the advanced course on Sketchup about a month ago.

Probably the best experience of the entire year though was becoming the president of Scott Hall (my college residence hall). Despite my many jokes of wanting someone to impeach me and the many headaches of the job, I really enjoy being the president of Scott Hall. I can’t wait to be back serving the great men of Scott Hall in the second half of my term in the spring semester! (To any Scott Hall guys are reading this, I will not give up until we have pool table in Scott Hall.) Not only am I the president of Scott Hall, but I am also the chairman of Evangel Student Government Association’s (ESGA) Policy Committee. I get the opportunity to lead the train on policy changes that affect the daily lives of students. Having these leadership roles was never something that I intended doing when I started college, but boy am I glad that I am in these positions. These positions have fulfilled the void of public service that I have missed since leaving Tennessee, and they have confirmed my desire to run for President of the United States. That’s right folks, you heard it here first! When the time comes, I will announce my candidacy in the 2040 elections.

So, back to this incident that happened in May while I was at my friend’s wedding. For those of you who have read any of my previous blog posts (This Must Be the Place, Crap Fest 2020, Untangling the Ropes, and Trusting God) you probably know about Riley. Well, I want to introduce someone new to the story to you… Mary. Mary is someone I know through Melissa, my friend Jack’s wife. After the incident happened, there was something that Mary said that got me to think about my emotions and was actually the reason why I started to give up on the idea of a having a dating relationship Riley. In addition to making me think about having a dating relationship with Riley, what Mary said made me realize that I had some unrecognized feelings for Mary. Unfortunately, because this is also a major part of the future book, I can’t tell what was said right now. However, if you have read any of my previous blog posts, you know that I thought Riley was the girl who I was supposed to marry. And this is why 2021 was probably the most confusing year that I have ever had, I spent months trying to wade through my feelings and emotions to gain a better understanding of myself which in turn would allow me to have a better relationship with my friends and whoever I decided to date (I’m still on this journey of restoration).

I spent months breaking up with Riley, and even though we never actually dated, breaking up with a crush who meant so much to you is just as difficult as if you were breaking up with someone who you actually dated. Furthermore, I’m an optimist which often is a great thing, but sometimes being an optimist only kills me, especially in this case. Despite the many red flags that showed me that Riley and I were probably never going to date, I kept being optimistic that we could date. (I’m pretty sure that my friends got tired of me mentioning all the plans I had to get Riley to go on a date with me.) Why was I so optimistic about the potential of this relationship? Because I’m not an emotional person and I have had more bad than good happen in my life (especially in relationships), so when someone like Riley comes into my life, I just can’t imagine ever letting go. But this time I couldn’t let my optimism kill me, I had to kill my optimism. I had to give up on any new relationship happening to deal with the leftover feelings I had for Riley.

Sometimes, when someone has real feelings for someone and it doesn’t work out, they shut down to anything new until they can deal with those leftover feelings.

Dr. Linda Martin, Lucifer (TV SHOW)

The plan was to spend the time from day after the wedding in May up until the start of the fall semester ‘breaking up’ with Riley… at least that was the plan. In reality, it took me from May until the weekend before finals to ‘break up’ with Riley. I finally was able to let go of the idea of ever dating Riley. I could begin my pursuit of trying act on the feelings that I have for Mary; I could try to get a date with Mary. However, by this time it was too late in the semester, so now my efforts have to wait until the spring semester. I’ll let you all know how it goes. (If you’re reading this Mary, it was me who left the note on your car. The note was a desperate attempt of trying to start the conversation before winter break because I didn’t know if I would see you before winter break.)

So, that’s how the first semester of my senior year of college went. There wasn’t much physical, external excitement, but a lot more internal development. Before I go though, I must explain the why I named this post “New.” At the end of every year, typically in December, I get a word (that I believe is from the Holy Spirit) that guides the next year. Going into 2020 the word was “re-evaluate.” Coming into 2021 I was fortunate enough to receive two words “rest” and “restoration.” (It’s funny how there seemed to be a trend with “r” words.) Going into 2022, I can’t shake the feeling that word is “new.” Typically, these words are blanketed and I don’t really know which area of life to focus on, but this year I feel two specific areas that this word will apply to: new relationships and new business/career opportunities. While that’s all I know right now, I am glad the word for this new year is “new” because I am looking forward to both trying to forge a new dating relationship with Mary, and working with new clients to design the home of their dreams, so it’s only befitting of how everything is coming together. I have to admit that coming into 2021, everything only seemed to be falling apart, but in these last few days of 2021, things only seem to be falling into place. I CANNOT WAIT TO CONQUER NEW TERRITORY IN 2022!